Master Mew Mew
by SawManiac211
Summary: The Master's hiding from the Doctor and Pai, Tart and Kish, so he asks an aquaintance to give him a powerful disguise to hide and fight with. It's just a shame he's turned into a cat, and been bought by Ichigo...rated T for mild MasterXZakuro later on.
1. Chapter 1

**I'm not quite sure how long it's been since I've read the books. I'm sure how close I'm getting to keeping the characters IC, although not many Tokyo Mew Mew characters in this chapter. I'm not even sure whether anyone's going to like this – well, the Master turning into a cat did happen once apparently, but still this is probably one of the weirdest ideas that ever sprang to mind. On the way to a Doctor Who Experience, in fact, with JinxStar, in a fez. Being the only teenager in a fez apart from a five-year-old boy is a little embarrassing in the middle of London...anyway, I'm rambling. I really do hope you like it.**

When Kish met up with Pai and Tart four months after returning to their home planet, newly transformed thanks to the power of the Mew Aqua, he had no idea that he was headed back to Earth again. The other two were already there when he wandered into the clearing: Tart, lazily sprawled across the ground soaking up the last rays of sun; and Pai, standing stoically under a tree almost like he was trying to avoid it. Kish smirked, but not unkindly. Four months and they hadn't changed a bit.

"Late, Kish? You haven't changed a bit have you?" Pai said dryly, unknowingly voicing exactly what Kish had been thinking. He had to agree; Pai was still trying to take immediate control over the situation.

"Neither have you, Pai. You're just as irritating as I remember, if not more."

Pai's mouth twitched. "Touché. Are you missing your little cat?" The answering growl made him smile. "I think that answers everything."

Tart laughed, eyes flickering between closed eyelids. "Oh lighten up guys – Pai, tell him why we're here!"

Pai nodded stiffly. "To cut to the chase, Kish, you might have the opportunity to see your little cat again. We've got a new assignment on planet Earth, and this time we're going to need a lot more than just Chimera Animals."

"Oh? And why exactly is this assignment?"

"Have you heard the legends about the Master?"

Kish stiffened. "What? We're after him?"

Pai nodded. "Yes. Many years ago, it is said that a Time Lord, insanely angry at the universe and everything in it, caused a series of catastrophes that forced us to leave Earth in fear of being wiped out ourselves. We've never proved it for sure, but all the evidence leads straight to the Master. Because of this our species have been on a constant lookout for the man in order to bring him to appropriate justice."

"He means destroy him." Tart explained further.

Kish nodded slowly. "So he's been sighted I guess...but why are we looking for him on Earth? I mean, he hates the planet, it's obvious to everyone! Is he causing some kind of trail of destruction we can follow and catch him that way?"

"No. You see, we have no idea where he is, and in his rather...ahem..._unstable_ form it will be difficult to track him down."

"He's unstable anyway – how difficult is it to track down a madman?"

"Very difficult indeed, especially since he's not completely a 'madman' anymore..."

_A Week Earlier_

_The cat never knew what hit it, and it didn't particularly care either. One second it had been cleaning itself happily enough for a cat, the next the dustbin it had been lying on had been knocked over by the man who had materialised out of thin air and landed right on it. The cat disliked having its personal bubble invaded, and disliked even more having its tail sat on, so it did exactly what it did best when large threatening objects came close: it slashed at it with its claws and fled down the alley, its lithe frame disappearing from sight in a matter of seconds._

_The Master swore colourfully in Gallifreyan and examined the long gash the damn thing had made in his skinny jeans. It was bleeding quite badly, but he was certain that the wound was not life threatening. Trying to walk on it was still agony; he stumbled and swore, long fingers tapping out a beat on the crumbling brickwork. He'd never been a cat man, always preferring dogs marginally more, for the reason that they were more likely to stay loyal and less likely to try to claw you. Wincing, he wondered how much further he had to walk: the teleport stolen from UNIT had become unreliable and even on a damaged leg he wasn't going to risk materialising in a wall or a metre off a cliff. As it turned out he wasn't that far off after all. A door opened in the wall and a head poked out, nearly knocking the Master square in the forehead. "Dude? Is that you?"_

"_Less of the dude business," The Master growled. "But yes, it's me."_

"_Man, you look AWFUL...what happened to your leg?"_

"_Just let me in you moron – and if you see a cat, let me know so I can shoot it."_

"_Cats are friendly creatures man; they don't hurt no-one without a reason."_

"_I beg to differ. Now in Rassilon's name let me in, and less of the man business too if you don't mind."_

_The other man sighed and walked back into the house. "Whatever you say dude, I'll just put the kettle on." The Master's fingers twitched impulsively to the pocket in his jeans where the laser screwdriver was kept, but refrained from using it. He needed this man and didn't have that much against him really; he made a habit of trying extremely hard not to kill old acquaintances that a) weren't the Doctor and b) hadn't tried to ruin his plans._

_The kitchen just inside the door was warm and cosy. At least, at first glance it looked like a kitchen: mugs lined on the sideboard, coffee, tea and sugar in a shelf, an oven and a fridge. But then you noticed the stains on the threadbare rug, the acid burns on the tiles and the many glass bottles hissing steam up at the ceiling in many different colours and realised that this was actually a laboratory. The Master knew for a fact that frozen rats lived side-by-side with the milk and (ironically) cheese, after eating a snack a few years back and realising midway through that it'd had a tail. After that he'd decided that this was his old acquaintance's domain and left all eating and drinking needs for him to sort out._

_Absalom Forrest was not a mad scientist by any means, but he was a bit of a hippie. He was born on the tree-planet Narsgoth and, finding his home planet boring, he left home as soon as he could and travelled a little before settling on Earth. The way humans treated the Earth was horrific – cutting down trees was pretty much illegal in Narsgoth – and he spent much of his time leading groups of like-minded people in marches et Citra while staying out of the limelight himself. An expert in Sciences, he moved to Tokyo with his wife and two children and claimed one room of their small home as a semi-laboratory, simply for the fun of it. In the day he wrote anonymous scientific rants for a small fee from the local rag._

_Dust swirled from the ceiling as the two small children thumped their way upstairs, with a scolding mother behind them. The Master frowned and wiped his suit clean. Of all the places, the room under the stairs...he never knew why Absalom had ever decided to get married – HE would never saddle himself that way. When the two had first met they had got on like a house on fire (which it eventually did, thanks to a Molotov cocktail when they were denied service) but then the man had married and nothing seemed to connect them anymore. Still, they got on well: Absalom didn't interfere with any of the Master's plans and helped him out where possible, and the Master got him illegal ingredients and didn't try to kill him. A good arrangement, albeit a difficult one – especially when Absalom waxed lyrical about the many uses of tree bark._

"_One sugar, no milk right?" Absalom sat at the table with two chipped mugs. The Master nodded and accepted his without a word of thanks, which Absalom didn't expect anyway. Blinking behind his rounded glasses, he watched the Master's face carefully as he drank. "Tea alright?"_

_The Master nodded. Absalom may be a greasy haired, gangly low-life, but Rassilon he made good tea. He'd never been able to replicate it. He sipped his slowly while Absalom downed it in one, and then adjusted his glasses._

"_Now then, what can I do for you?"_

"_I'm being chased by aliens."_

"_I'm not surprised, you're broken at least three hundred laws in every galactic state."_

"_Well, this is different. You heard of the Cyniclons?"_

_Absalom brightened. "Do I know them? Dude, I've studied those guys for years! I even moved here to watch them in action – total eco-freaks, and you've gotta love the ears. It was fun watching them fight those...Tokyo Meow Meows? No, not that...Tokyo Mew Mews, that's it!"_

_The Master glared. "Can you let me get to the point, please?"_

"_Sure, whatever man."_

"_As I've said, I'm on the run from these aliens. I'm not quite sure what I've done to them, but I have a feeling that it'll come back to me once I – "_

"_Whoa, hold on," Absalom looked at him. "You're ON THE RUN? When has the Master run from anything?"_

_The Master ground his teeth. "If you don't shut up..."_

"_Geez, ok."_

"_It's not out of choice, believe me. I'm trying to keep a low profile so the Doctor can't track me down and make me his pet."_

"_Ah...so he doesn't know you escaped the Time Lock then?"_

"_Exactly. And I have no intention of being locked in the TARDIS for the rest of eternity."_

"_Fair dos. So what do you want me to do about it?"_

"_I need you to give me a cover, something powerful enough to help me fight these Cyniclons and to prevent the Doctor from picking me up."_

_Absalom grinned. "Dude, you could've come to me with something a little bit more challenging." He grabbed several different bottles and began to pour liberal amounts into a beaker. He pulled a few strands of the Master's hair out and added it to the mixture before stirring manically. The Master wasn't perturbed; this was Absalom's style, he never needed to measure things or consult books – he just did it and it worked perfectly every time. When Absalom pressed the murky, bubbling sludge into his hand however, he had serious doubts._

"_Uh...what am I meant to do with this?"_

"_You drink it of course. Thought you'd have worked that out yourself, clever guy like you."_

"_Of course I knew that!" The Master snarled, feeling foolish. Absalom's lips twitched a little._

"_Trust me dude, it tastes better than it looks."_

"_And it'll make me powerful?"_

"_More powerful than you could possibly imagine. Why, I'd bet good money you'd be able to take over the Earth and this time keep that Doctor in the cage." The Master smiled and clinked the beaker against Absalom's empty mug, then started drinking. Absalom nodded encouragingly. "That's it; drink it all up like a good boy."_

_The Master shot him a look, then drained the beaker and put it back down on the table top. He licked the residue off his lips. Absalom had been right about the taste – cherries, lemon and something else he couldn't quite place. He didn't have the time to figure out what it was though, because the next second his skin was on fire and there was a horrible twisting sensation in his guts. With difficulty he stood and tried to get to the sink to throw up whatever the hell he'd just drunk into it, but then he felt a last twinge and he was crouched on the floor, the ghastly sensation over almost as soon as it had started. Thank Rassilon; it must've just been some nasty side-effects. That was before he tried to stand and found he barely came off the ground at all. He tried to ask Absalom what had happened but all that came out was a rough mewling sound. He tried again. Exactly the same result._

_Absalom's face came into view, peering down at him. Normally the Master stood a few inches taller to the lanky man, but right now Absalom looked like a giant – a rather worried giant at that. "Oh dear, this is NOT good." Irritated the Master tried to speak again, but all that came out was the mewling. Looking down at himself he realised he had black paws. And they were furry. With a horrible idea of what may have happened, the Master leapt up onto the low table and peered cautiously into the empty beaker. A small furry face, with huge green eyes and whiskers peered cautiously back._

"_I'm a CAT?" He felt like swearing when all that happened was that he yowled and his ears flattened back on his head; he forcefully entered Absalom's mind, taking great care to hurt him._ I'm a CAT?

"_Sorry dude, I completely forgot. That cat DNA from when he cat scratched you must've tampered with the potion – still, there are worse things to be."_

_The Master hissed, back arching, tail ramrod straight._ I'm a CAT, for Rassilon's sake! They're furry, and cute looking, and everything I don't want to be!

"_Actually I think it's a nice look for you – you're always so evil all the time, it's nice to see your cute cuddly side for once."_

STOP LAUGHING, YOU BASTARD! Reverse this NOW; I refuse to go around like a cat.

_Absalom looked sheepish. "Well, that's gonna take quite a bit of time. On the plus side once your genetic pattern has calmed down a bit you'll change back to human – I mean Time Lord – for a couple of hours at roughly the same times each day."_

I don't care about that, I want to be Time Lord permanently thanks very much. How long will it take?

"_Roughly? Two or three months." Absalom only just ducked in time to avoid the Master's sudden leap at his face, claws unsheathed. He skittered across the floor, unable to properly stop himself from slamming into the fridge._

Two or three MONTHS? I REFUSE to be a cat for that long!

"_You really don't have much choice in the matter I'm afraid." The Master yowled furiously as he was scooped up and held against the other man's chest. The action was extremely demeaning, especially when Absalom started stroking his head, but the cat side of him reacted well to it. Oh Rassilon, what had he done to deserve this? His mind instantly went into a replay of every foul deed he'd ever committed and he regretted asking the question._

"_Now Master," Absalom said sternly as the Master tried to wriggle free. "This counter-mixture is going to take some time if I want to get it exactly right. All I need you to do is stay within the general area, and when the time comes I'll give you a mental bell and you can come back. It's definitely not ideal, but it's the best thing I can do man."_

_The Master wriggled again, looking behind him to look at his tail. He'd never really contemplated having a tail before, but he was surprised to find he didn't mind it that much. Perhaps his next regeneration could have a tail. He shook his head to put a stop these thoughts and invaded Absalom's head again._ All right, I'll give it a go. Now put me down; if I wanted you to stroke me I'd've asked you to.

"_Touché," Absalom chuckled, but he put the Master down anyway. The Master was grateful for that; it wasn't just demeaning for him to be held like that, it gave him an uncomfortable sense of powerlessness, which was what he always felt around the Doctor at some subconscious level. As soon as Absalom opened the door and let in the cooling night air the Master took off into the night without a second thought. Absalom watched him go with an odd smile on his lips. "Take care little Master, you're going to need it."_

**Before anyone says anything, this is NOT intended to be slashy. It looks it, but trust me it's not. Honest. DEFINITELY not...  
>Anyway, it'd be really helpful if you review and tell me what you likedon't like about this 'cos I've never written anything like this before and I'd love the help/support. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to korat5 for your encouragement – I'll try hard to make sure it fulfils its potential. Promise! Now JinxStar, remember that conversation we had about pet shops...?**

_A Week Later_

The Master had never liked pet shops. They were noisy, filthy little places behind the facade of cheerful smiles and gleaming tiles. And there were children, always children, shrieking and pressing their grubby little faces up against the glass at animals acting all cute like some X-Factor line-up; and then they picked one and the unfortunate thing – whether kitten, puppy or chinchilla – was plucked out and taken away into a new hell. After all the necessary paperwork, of course.

It was therefore extremely demeaning to have been caught and put in one. It had been exactly as Absalom had predicted: shifts had happened in quick succession and irregularly, which is rather disorientating if you keep growing and shrinking when you're not expecting it. As it was, the shifts had only just calmed down when the Master had been taken; for a moment he had thought it was the Doctor, but then he'd felt the single heartbeat and realised that it was only a human. In a way he was quite disappointed – sure the Doctor would've found him by now? – but relieved at the same time, suddenly rather pleased with his disguise. He wasn't so happy now: in fact, he was starting to wish that it _had_ been the Doctor who had found him.

Now he was stuck in a pen with around ten other stupid cats, which was irritating enough, but now he kept being stared at by the pathetic apes he despised. He had hoped that getting bought might help him escape – as humiliating as it would be – but the pet shop was far too efficient; as soon as a cat was selected, it was boxed up before it had even had time to so much as hiss, although not one of them ever did. The cats here were too dumb to think about escaping. One of the said creatures timidly placed a paw over the invisible line the Master had drawn in the pen; he was on the unfortunate in an instant, claws unsheathed, ready for a fight. Disappointingly it whimpered and backed off; a shame, it would've at least amused him for a while. He regarded the cats huddled together in the small corner he'd allowed them and smiled. At least he still had _some_ power in this form, even though it was over the wrong species.

The main problem he had was how soon it would be for him to shift again. He had the vague idea that seeing a cat change suddenly into a grown man would be difficult to explain, not to mention bad for his image. The chances of escaping were slim, but he could deal with that; even if he didn't manage to get out now by getting selected by some grotty kid, he could still escape when he reached his 'new residence', right?

At least, that was the plan. But even the best made plans go wrong, and this happened pretty quickly.

"Mummy! I want that one!"

The Master wheeled to see a tiny girl with tight blond ringlets pressed up against the glass and realised that she was pointing at him. Oh, _perfect_. He was just celebrating phase one of his escape plan when he caught the last part of the parents' conversation as they followed their daughter around the shop.

"…Doctor said something about a timey-wimey manipulator thing, but I think he doesn't know what happened either."

The man shoved his hands deep into his jeans pockets. "But…doesn't this create a paradox or something?"

The woman rolled her eyes. "Oh Rory, don't be so negative. We've got our daughter back, that's all that matters to me now."

Melody Pond. He was about to be bought by Melody Pond, AKA _River Song_, the wife – well, some-day-wife – of the man he wanted to avoid most in the world. And she'd brought some of his pathetic toys with her. He should've known by the English accents; honestly, why were they always English? The Irish were always _way_ more fun. And, of course, the ginger hair. The Master had never figured out the Doctor's attraction on that part.

River tugged at her mother's hand. "Mummy, I want that one!" The Master hissed as Amy looked at him critically, trying to make himself as far from cute as possible. He refused to be bought by one of the Doctor's companions; that would mean being kept as a pet in the TARDIS, and probably in his present condition, literally!

"Sweetie, are you sure you want this one?"

"Yes." River pouted obstinately.

Amy sighed, running a hand through her hair. "But this one…well, it's a little _mangy_, isn't it?"

Mangy? MANGY? If the Master wasn't behind panes of glass, he would've clawed her stupid face off. Out of all the things he was, he was not bloody mangy. Evil, yes. Clever, definitely. Sexy, of course. But_ mangy_?

"Rory," Amy whispered. "Is it me, or is that cat glaring at me?"Ah. The Master blinked. He'd forgotten; glaring wasn't cat-like behaviour, it'd give him away. Think cat. Cat cat catty cat. He mewed and curled up on himself, keeping his eyes on the small family. The charade seemed to have worked, as Amy returned her attention to her daughter. "Come on Melody, let's pick out a different cat. What about that tabby one?"

River stamped her foot. "I don't _want_ another cat, I want _that_ one!" _Spoilt brat,_ he thought to himself as he yawned and stretched his front paws in front of him. The conversation was starting to bore him.

It was at this point that Rory stepped in. "Amy, why don't we just get the cat? It looks fine to me, and if Ri…I mean Melody wants it, then why don't we just get the thing?"

Amy sighed impatiently. "Rory, that cat _glared_ at me…something's not right with it…"

_You've got that right, lady._ The Master thought sardonically.

Rory rubbed her arm. "Come on love, what can that cat do? Fire lasers from its eyes?"

_I wish._

"Ok, fine, you win." Amy smiled at her husband in such a sickening way that the Master wanted to retch. River beamed as they beckoned over one of the pet shop workers to take him out of the pen – he nearly allowed himself to be taken just for the childish reason of seeing the dumb disappointment of the other cats at not being chosen, but River's question jarred him into reality.

"Mummy, will he be TARDIS-trained?"

_TARDIS – FUCK NO!_ He unsheathed his claws and pressed them into the fleshy upper arm of the female assistant: not expecting it she shrieked and let him go. He was running before he hit the floor, dodging between the legs of startled humans as he barrelled toward the door. It opened just as he reached it and, tasting freedom, he sprung forward and – ran into a pair of legs.

"Huh?" The Master could've asked the same question. He looked up at the young girl standing in front of him, blocking his escape route. Her hair was tied up in ribbons, and her large brown eyes blinked curiously down at him. That was the first impression he had of her before he was scooped up again.

"Kitty!" He groaned inwardly as he was turned to face the young River Song, supported only by his forearms…well, forepaws. "Bad Kitty! Don't do that again!"

"That's it," Amy took River firmly by the arm. "Melody Pond, you are choosing a new cat _now_."

"But who will buy Kitty?" River whined.

"I will!" They all turned to stare at the newcomer, who smiled widely. "I've always wanted a cat, nyah!"

_Oh dear Rassillon, _the Masterstruggled in the painful grasp of the young girl. _Don't leave me with her._

The shop assistant smiled. "Ichigo Momomiya! It's nice to see you again." The girl laughed and the Master processed the information. Ichigo…a strange name for a strange girl. He felt River hand him over as Ichigo chatted to the pet shop assistant: he tried to pay attention but Ichigo began absent-mindedly to stroke him behind the ears, making him lose all concentration. His nose twitched; she smelt of cake and strawberries, and her laugh was far too high pitched.

She instantly irritated him. But at least, he thought with relief, she wasn't the Doctor.

**I apologise for the characters and plot-lines being twisted; I really haven't watched or read 'Tokyo Mew Mew' in a long time, and my friend thought it would be nice to have River Song AKA Melody Pond growing up with her parents – sometimes Doctor Who is too cruel.  
>So, good, bad? Please let me know!<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Before I start, thanks to DragonKnight15 for one of the most encouraging reviews I've ever received – much gratitude for the support. It's been a long time since I've updated this so there's no point in writing a long note that no-one's probably going to read…aheh. Enjoy!**

Somewhere in Time and Space

It hadn't been until after watching the Master slip through his fingers for the second time that the Doctor realised how lonely he'd actually been. Well, not lonely I-don't-have-anyone lonely; more lonely I-don't-have-anyone-who's-a-Time-Lord lonely. It wasn't that the Ponds weren't fantastic company, or that he regretted having ever met them – why would he? It was just…well, they'd showed him that sometimes – well, quite a lot of the time – he wasn't that good at helping people. In fact, he was absolutely rubbish. Pants. A certain word meaning a type of excrement.

The point was, the fact was gnawing at his stomach like a rat: misunderstood animals really, quite nice when you get to know them. But along with that was the rat that had been there before, bringing the similarly painful knowledge that in the end everyone leaves. Or dies. Which, incidentally, was exactly what the Master had done. Twice. Both times right in front of him. Which sort of reinforced the idea that he was absolutely rubbish at saving people, especially those people who happened to be the same species as him.

So he'd been feeling a little low recently. Well, his accidental rescuing of River – Melody, he was meant to call her Melody now – had helped to lighten his spirits a little, but…well. You know. Gnawing little rodents and all.

"Doctor?" The Doctor nearly jumped out of his skin as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. He spun round to flash Amy a slightly too large grin.

"Amy, Amy, hello. Didn't hear you come in there, I was miles away. Galaxies. Head up in the clouds. In the sand. I think I'd prefer to have my head in the clouds rather than the sand wouldn't you? Nicer."

Amy jammed his mouth shut with the palm of her hand and gave him her best concerned look. "Doctor, are you sure you're ok?" The Doctor nodded, and the concerned look deepened. "Are you? You'd better not be lying to me mister." The Doctor responded by giving her a big thumbs up. With both hands. Nothing says 'ok' than a double thumbs up, right? Amy beamed at him and patted him a little too hard on the cheek. "Atta boy! Don't blame me, Rory thought that we should do A Talk. With capital letters at the start of each word." At that moment a squealing River – Melody, _Melody_…oh, never mind. Just keep calling her River in your head Doctor, save yourself the confusion – ran into the control room, followed by a tired looking Rory. Ah small children: so cute and giggly and yet with bucket loads of energy that adults unfortunately lack. It was times like these that he was glad that he didn't have a child of his own. And then try to forget that he ever had a child in the first place. Cute, painful rodents.

"Hi Doctor," Rory nodded hello. "Amy." She got a kiss on the cheek. Why did he get the nod and she get the kiss? Oh, right. Marriage. It's always the small things you forget. "Did you do The Talk?"

"Yes, I did The Talk." Amy rolled her eyes at the Doctor. "Honestly Rory, he's fine."

Rory gave him a hard stare over the top of Amy's head. "Right." Avoiding eye contact, the Doctor turned back to the scanner. Rory had a worrying habit of remembering things and taking them seriously. Such as the phrase 'The Doctor always lies'. It was awkward; at least, he found it awkward. Most probably because it was true, and Rory knew it, and he knew that he knew it, and he Rory knew that he knew that he knew it. See? Confusing _and_ awkward.

"Mummy?" River tugged at the hem of Amy's checked shirt. Looking closer, the Doctor was almost certain it was actually Rory's. Try not to think about how that happened. Honestly, surely they learnt from the last time? Hello, River? And how they hell did they do it with bunk beds? They're bunk beds for a reason! "Mummy?"

"Not now darling." Amy said absently; the Doctor could just see her patting River's head – he knew it was happening without turning round. Honestly, humans could be so predictable it could get quite annoying. Hold on, can't think like that. The Master thought like that. Also, don't think about the Master. Gnawing, gnawing rat.

"Doctor? Helloooo?" Something snapped in his face and he blinked, turning his head to look. Amy and Rory were both looking at him with the same concerned expression on their faces.

"Doctor," Rory said slowly. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine," The Doctor smiled to wide his cheeks hurt. "Absolutely fine. Besides, we've had this conversation. Head in the clouds and all. So, what were you saying?"

Rory and Amy exchanged a look before she started speaking. "I was saying, well asking, whether or not you'd found out who'd got into UNIT headquarters and stolen that teleporter?"

Oh, right. _That_ was what he had been doing with the scanner. He glanced at the screen and then looked back. "Um, no…not as such…"

"Well you'd better find out soon, Martha says they're getting impatient over there."

River's efforts to get her mother's attention increased. "Mummy? _Mummy?_"

Amy sighed. "Yes, darling?"

"When can we get a cat?"

The Doctor clapped his hands together. "Ah, the cat! How did the cat hunt go?"

"Well, as we're cat-less…" Rory began dryly before Amy trod on his foot. "We – I mean Ri – I mean Melody – saw one that she liked, but Amy wasn't keen and it was bought by someone else anyway."

River pouted. "I liked Kitty."

Amy sighed. "Sweetie, Kitty's in a happy home now. Besides, it wasn't a nice cat, was it?"

"Aww," The Doctor bent down to River's level. "Did it scratch you?"

"No," River shook her head adamantly. "It scratched the lady, but it would never hurt me."

"Doesn't sound like a nice cat to me: I don't like anything – mammal, plant or mineral – that hurts someone."

"But it _was _a nice cat: it was only nasty when I mentioned the TARDIS."

Alarm bells rang in the Doctor's mind. "When you mentioned the TARDIS?" He said slowly as he straightened up. "Amy, in what other ways were the cat 'nasty'?"

Amy shrugged. "Oh, it just didn't seem normal is all."

"In what way?"

"Well…it seemed to glare at me. And when I told Rory, it instantly started acting like a normal cat, like it could understand our conversation."

The Doctor nodded. "Right, yes, that's pretty weird. Anything else?"

Rory cleared his throat. "Umm…I don't know if this means anything, but the other cats seemed to be…petrified of it. I mean, they were all pressed into a far corner from it."

Amy rounded on him. "And you say something now?"

"I thought you'd noticed!"

"We nearly got that cat, Rory!"

"Interesting," The Doctor started pacing. "You're still calling it a cat when it's clear that it's not."

"Well duh," Amy rolled her eyes. "I mean, we know it's not a cat but what else are we going to call it?"

"I don't know, Alien Cat perhaps?"

River stomped her foot. "It's name is Kitty."

"Lord of the manor, more like. From what you've told me about the way it was treating the other…cats…" He trailed off and came to an abrupt halt as something at the back of his mind clicked.

"Doctor?" Rory felt annoyed. He had been lying; of course he'd been lying, when hadn't be? "Doctor, you're not ok are you?"

"Not…lord…" Amy and Rory strained to hear the words. "More like…Master…" With a burst of energy that surprised everyone he rushed around the control consol, flicking switches and pulling levers with manic energy. River threw herself into a chair and giggled happily, inexplicably knowing that they were headed somewhere new and – hopefully – exciting. Amy, unwilling to step into the whirlwind, called out over the rhythmic groaning of the central column.

"Doctor, where are we going?"

"To visit an old…acquaintance."

"Why?"

"I have a hunch, and if that hunch is right…" The Doctor paused and glanced up at Amy, a grin spread right across his face. "Twice I've lost him Amy, twice. Third time lucky this time, Amy, third time lucky!"

As he resumed his antics, Rory turned to Amy. "Do you ever think that he's not quite right in the head? That he's a little bit mad?"

Amy smiled as the Doctor whacked the consol with a rubber hammer. "He always was. Or haven't you noticed?"


End file.
